Today was a fairytale...

I love weddings. Love em- sometimes inexplicably. I love watching too people in love, surrounded by family and friends, commit to each other for the rest of their lives. I love watching the groom's face right when the bride walks in and the way her father will beam. I love the air of excitement, celebration, and love. I love the ridiculous wedding guests, dancing, the food, an always delicious cake, and taking lots and lots of pictures. I've loved weddings since I was 3 and in my very first wedding- my cousin Lynn's. Ok, so at the time I did not love the 15 lb. garland on my tiny head, but I loved being there with everyone, dancing around the perimeter of the dance floor (according to my mom) and getting a flower girl gift basket upon arrival (my most distinct memory). Now lest you think I am like that girl in 27 Dresses who is utterly obsessed and has been in, natch, 27 weddings, its not just the actual wedding that I love. No, I love weddings for the way they bring everyone and their crazy family together and the sheer joy in celebrating love with one another. I love the way they become sort of mini reunions as family and friends celebrate together and of course do the electric slide.

Maybe weddings are on my mind because a few weeks ago I went to Orlando for a friend of mine's wedding. It could not have been more beautiful and most importantly, more Mandy and David. I love the way weddings depict the couple's personalities and this wedding fit them to a tee. So elegant, so sweet, so simple, so filled with laughter and love. I was in love with it. Everything was so perfect- the sweet simplicity of the bridesmaids, the colors, the reception at the yacht club, the first dance, the beautiful cake. But more importantly it was so perfect because it was so filled with love. If you know Mandy and David, then you know what I'm talking about- the entire room was filled with their love for each other and our love for each of them.

It was so incredible to be reunited with so many of my college friends and to celebrate such a wonderful occasion together. I cannot explain my sheer joy at seeing my sweet big, Allison, in the airport and embracing her for the first time in far too long.

It was so wonderful to catch up with old friends and dance ridiculously;

to be filled with excitement for the weddings to come this summer. Despite the fact that the weekend had some interesting mishaps (one bed for 4 girls? I don't think so Skippy!; or driving everywhere in a really sketchy cab with Pedro), those were all forgotten that beautiful Saturday night in Orlando.

Weddings remind me how truly blessed we are to be surrounded by love- whether its a significant other, family, friends- we are all truly lucky to love. I was reminded of this even more when the Tri Delts surrounded Mandy and sang "By My Side." It always reminds me that love should encircle us, envelope us, protect us, surround us. Nothing is so sweet as singing to the bride with dear friends that "there is a love here, that we can't deny."

Hearing the lovely toasts made me so excited to prepare a toast for my dearest friend Virginia when she gets married- thinking back on our friendship made me tear up in sheer gratitude for her and the love that she has in her life. Weddings are a beautiful reminder of the love we are capable of having for others and is such a beautiful representation of that love. So yes, I love weddings. I love everything about them but mostly I love love and the people who love me and who I love. So to all of you out there who I love, happy wedding season and happy loving!

Out of the bubble and into the (sort of) real world

Ahh Graduation. One of the most important days of your life where you are ushered from school into the real world. Or into grad school to avoid the real world for another 2 years, as is my case. I wish I could say that it was one of the most important days of my life that I will never forget and all that emotional stuff. But really that's not me. Sure, it was really exciting and an incredible day that I will never forget but not because I walked across a stage. It was more important because it was the culmination of four wonderful years of friends, memories, and life. So we went to my favorite restaurant, Brick Street, for lunch since graduation was at night. Naturally its my family so there was a lot of ridiculousness at lunch including but not limited to my dad filming the barbershop quartet there that was singing and be overall embarrassing. Embarrassment aside, I got to have sweet potato cake (aka heaven in cake form) so my day was pretty much incredible after that. Since graduation was a few hours away and I was banned from napping (apparently four hour naps aren't always appropriate), my brother just sat and looked at espn.com while I packed. What a fun-filled afternoon. Since we wouldn't have time for actual dinner, my mom naturally packed a picnic. A full picnic. We're talking cheese and crackers, fruit, chicken nuggets, cookies, and of course champagne. Since my mom was worried about making trash she decided to bring disposable champagne glasses. Tiny little glasses whose bottoms kept falling off which she proceeded to carry across campus as we walked to take pictures. Nothing like watching your always rule-abiding momma carry champagne across your dry campus.

We took pictures. A lot of pictures. Mostly at my request because I feel the need to document my life constantly. Poor big brother had to take a ridiculous amount of photos until I was pleased with a Christmas card picture. Don't worry he's totally used to this.

So then of course we went to the actual graduation. Well they went to the stadium and I went to wait to line up and listen to a man who could not have been more monotonous. Dude, we're not listening and we're not going to listen just give it up. Its a Furman tradition for the graduates to walk down the mall from the auditorium to the stadium as they walk into graduation. Of course I was wearing heels so like any good Southern girl I walked most of the way barefoot, with lots of looks from parents lining the mall (believe they weren't my parents). So we walk into the stadium and of course all of my professors are at the front of the line of faculty. Do I remain composed and simply walk by? Of course not. I proceeded to yell "T.Cat!" very loudly at my advisor and then laugh the rest of the way down the line. Of course I was not composed- that would be so unlike me. I sat in my seat and waited listening to my friend Andrew give a hilarious graduation address and cried when Dr. Shi urged us to hold on, let go, and move on. It was rather moving but the emotions I felt were so indescribable- excitement, nervousness, pride, fear. Yeah a whole lot happened. I didn't exactly realize just how many more Bachelor of Arts degrees there were than Bachelor of Science- we looked like a small lot compared to them so I had to wait. A lot. Somehow event though it was May, it got very cold that night so by the time it was my turn to walk I was shivering. Really shivering. Ok so I wasn't shivering right when I walked across the stage- all that was going through my head was "Don't fall" and keep the daggum hat on my head. So it happened. I didn't fall. I walked across the stage. I shook Dr. Shi's hand and laughed when I passed my professors. I cheered and cried a little and threw my cap in the air (not very high though). And then just like that it was over. Four years were done and I was letting go of the Furman bubble. There were lots of hugs and squeals and cries of "I love you" but it was done, four year had passed and it was time to leave. As we walked out of the stadium I didn't really feel anything besides cold, thirst, and tired. It wasn't until I made it to the downtown celebration that I felt the importance of what had just happened and how this really would be the last time we were together. There were surprises of old friends, some tears with dear friends, and lots of laughter and a little dancing. In short it was the perfect way to end those four years and open up the door to the years ahead. Granted the next day I didn't really feel any more like an adult- probably because I was packing. A lot. Not really the ideal situation for someone who's OCD. So its all over. My years at Furman are done and now I'm an alum. I can't describe what the past four years have meant to me and the relationships I have been blessed with there. It has been the biggest things in my life, a catalyst for my personal and spiritual growth and the source of deep, abiding friendships. There were lots of laughs, some tears, crazy adventures, fountain hopping, and a hell of a lot of pictures. So here's to you Furman and all that you've brought us. Now its time to burst the bubble and enter the sort of real world.

A letter to Dad

Dear Dad,

Its been quite a while since I last saw you- 19 years today in fact even though I don’t remember a lot from back then. I do know I was a very loved little girl who loved princesses, playing with her annoying big brother, baking with her momma and of course her daddy. I remember flying down the stairs when you came home at night and the way you always came to my rescue. I remember missing you a lot when I was little and you weren’t there anymore and how much I clung even more to Momma and Jonathan. I remember crying myself to sleep because I wished you were there and you weren’t- I sat in bed and hugged my Pinky Bear wishing and praying you would come find me somehow. Slowly, then suddenly I grew up. Momma got married and I had another Dad. I went to school. I fought with Jonathan probably more than I should have. I laughed and playing and still liked princesses. I used to wish you were there all the time but then I grew up and things changed. I realized you were there- when I was happy, when I was mad, when I hated school and was stressed out, when something big happened in my life and I wished more than anything I could see you. Last week I graduated from college. I wish I could say how quickly it came but I can’t. I feel like I was just a little girl playing outside and suddenly I am a (sort of) adult. Even more, I wished you were there- sitting in the stadium, watching and cheering. I longed to see your pride, to hug you and tell you I loved you, to laugh and to cry. I wanted to take pictures with you like we used to and to hold you tight. But I couldn’t- even though I have wished on many a star that I could. Still, I know you were there, watching from above where you have watched over us for so long. I know you would be so proud. Not just of me but of Jonathan and what a great young man he is and the ways we have relied on each other to get through the most difficult times. Even after all this time we are still yours and we try so hard to make you proud and show you we love you, even from all the way down here. It was hard to have so many people I loved around me last weekend but to not have you- I felt as if a part of me was so closed but still so far removed from me. I always feel that way anytime something important happens in my life- no matter how big or small I always think of you. Still I know that even though you’re not beside me, you are there- watching as you always have for the past 19 years. So today remember how much we love you, how much we miss you, and how comforting it is to know you are always with us wherever we go.

Forever your girl,

Allison Sunbeam

Graduation Gown Woes

I graduated from college on Saturday. Naturally I knew I was going to want an obnoxious number of pictures from this event and wanted to look my best. Unfortunately graduation caps and gowns are exactly the picture of fashion. This is what I emailed to my mom after my horrific experience trying my gown on.

Just paid the $40 rental fee for my graudation attire. Once again Furman spares no expense. Oh wait we do get to keep the $1 tassel- they are so generous! So even though its the right length (for once) , it is, to my horror, completely unflatterly. Seriously how many pictures am I going to take on this most important occasion? A lot. So let me wear what is essentially a large black bag with lovely wing like arms? Oh you shouldnt have. My one question is....can I belt it? All outfits are pretty much made better by defining a waist- Im thinking a zebra print belt? Genius! (This plan was later vetoed by the powers that may be- apparently zebra isn't serious enough). And really the cap? I am roughly the size of a 12 year old and have a tiny head so if the cap is cutting off the circulation to my brain it is TOO SMALL. Really if I cant wear it, y'all need to re-evaluate you sizing. Also, hoods should not make one look like a rather somber platypus with a burst of purple for fun and should be far easier to put on. Apparently I am smart enough to graduate but not to put on the stuff I'm supposed to wear. Seriously.