Invasion of the Chalk People

Friends, there is epidemic sweeping the nation and it must be addressed. You know what I’m referring to- chalk people. I have a certain distain for the chalk people decals frequenting car and minivan windows alike. You can’t drive a mile on the interstate without being taunted by the evil chalk people. I just don’t get it. If you have 2 kids, a dog and a cat that’s wonderful- I just don’t need to know that via you windshield.

I mean what happens when the baby on your window becomes a toddler? Do you just scratch him off and replace him? What about the five cats beside your family- do you add little halos over them when they die? And what if they have kittens? That can easily take up the entire back window. As a single woman, am I obligated to put a singular chalk person on my window with a question mark beside it? Should my parents put my brother and I on their car with graduation caps on us indicating that we’re no longer kids but still part of the family? The possibilities are endless.

And the chalk people invasion doesn’t stop there. Oh no. They have now grown to include your family’s interests. Like a college team? Put that on your chalk people’s shirts. Like Star Wars? Add in light sabers. Do you enjoy the occasional game of golf? Add it on the chalk! Perhaps you enjoy venturing to Disney World? Well put some mouse ears on it and call it a day. You know these things must be evil if I don’t like something associated with Disney. Gone are the days of declaring your alma matter or “I love my dog” with a simple bumper sticker. Oh no, this does not nearly emphasize the point enough. You obviously don’t love your dog if he is not part of your chalk family and your devotion to your team doesn’t mean anything unless your chalk kids have it on their shirts.

I’ve decided that the chalk people invasion has simply gone too far. How to remedy it? People will now be required to portray their (chalk) personas accurately.

Allison’s Chalk People Rules:

1. - Your current size and shape will be accurately portrayed, regardless of how you feel about it.
2. - Children will hold report cards that show accurate grades or “My child is just getting by at Such and Such Middle!”
3. - Moms will display an accurate use of their time- cooking, shoe shopping, PTA-climbing, and wine.
4. - Dads will be required to show their actual hobbies including attending Star Trek conventions and burning dinner.
5. - Your family’s true hobbies will be shown. No one really believes that all you do is go hiking together. Let’s be realistic- just put the TV on there.
6. - Pets will be shown doing what they do most of the day- sleeping, eating or pooping.

I hope we can all agree on these rules. I think they will lead to chalk-less society and will at least give the people working in a foreign country making these things a break from asking if the Americans have lost their damn minds.

Semester Run Down

Apparently another semester has ended. I am not entirely sure how we actually made it to the end as the summer is just a blur of tests, procrastination, reading blogs in class and sunburns from the beach. At some point I know I was stressed but it was a "laid-back" semester so I guess it never really registered on my freak-out-o-meter. This was supposed to be the summer of Monday Fundays since we rarely had class then but it turned into more Monday cram- everything-in-you-haven't-done-for-the past-week Fundays because we couldn't be bothered to actually do work. Apparently there is a form of grad school senioritis and it has hit my class pretty feverishly. This was the fourth of five semesters of class meaning that this time next year I will have a real j-o-b. Not that a job isnt exciting but I'm not quite sure I'm prepared to be an adult just yet. You want me to be in charge of people's welfare? I still appreciate cereal as a meal at all times of the day and prefer Disney movies! I'm also roughly the height of a 12 year old but I figure that won't change so I may as well work with it. I guess I have to prepare to enter the real world but that's not exactly going to be a priority over my 17 day summer.

But the summer wasn't all for naught- there were plenty of beach days, books read, weddings, and summer love because Project Runway is back y'all and Tim Gunn is the man of my dreams!

So without further adieu, here is the run down of the past few months...

• Blogs read during class: Shameful
• Times snooze button hit: roughly 200 but who's counting?
• Books read not for class: 6 and counting
• Seasons of Project Runway watched on Hulu: 2
• Times my brother made fun of my Netflix selections to study to: you don't want to know
• Field work sites locked in: 2 !!!
• Parking tickets on Folly Beach: 1 (thanks Officer Craig)
• Sunburns: only 2- a new record low!
• Movies seen where I feel like my adolescence ended: 1 (I'm looking at you Harry Potter)
• Movies watched with the kids I babysit: Too many to count but all Disney classics so I'm not complaining
• Number of times fell down concrete stairs at the apartment: 1 (ouch)
• Number of times insane neighbors broke the elevator (again!): I've stopped counting.
• Days where it was too hot to do anything outside: The whole summer
• Times my family referred to a cake as the "Better than sex cake": Enough for it to not be funny AT ALL
• Times a professor spoke to me for 10 minutes thinking I was someone else: 2. Embarassing, yes, but its sort of awkward to correct someone when you're wearing your name tag by your face.
• Number of episodes of Jersey Shore accidently watched: 1 - To be fair, I was making something for camp when my roommate turned on the Season 4 premiere. I must ask- its all a joke right? Its real like "The Hills" was real right? Snooki doesn't actually think Europe is a country right? How on earth do you not look at where your plane is going? I mean they even have the handy map of where you plane is going on the in-flight TVs. I know this because I was on an Ethiopian Air flight for 16 hours- surely MTV sprung for the airline that has TVs. And why wouldn't you check? Knowing MTV I would assume they would send me somewhere crazy that was most definitely not the agreed-upon destination. I refuse to believe that those people are actuallythat ridiculous. I'll just sleep better at night if I convince myself that some producer is feeding them lines to say- it just makes me feel better about the whole human race. Italy? You're welcome

Well that was a whirlwind semester. So if you'll excuse me I'm about to go take advantage of my 2 summer...

July: The Month of Crafting

I secretly want to be a designer- I want to be on Project Runway and be best friends with Tim Gunn. I so wish I was even a bit as talented with a sewing machine as those people or even as the amazing DIY bloggers who I follow along with in class. I may not be there yet but I have gone back to crafting and chanelling this stressful period of life into creative outlets.

I stumbled upon the blog Made (www.dana-made-it.com) and fell in love with the cute ideas she has- for little crafty things and clothes. Without sounding a bit creepy, this lady is totally my hero and I sort of want to be her when I grow up- making clothes for my kids, coming up with cute ideas, remaking things. I just love so many of these ideas that I got a little inspired, got my simple little sewing machine and started away..... until it broke. I was so darn angry- I had just gotten it, hadn't used it but 30 minutes and it was kaput. Thankfully the people at Hancock Fabric's were so sweet and exchanged it for me for a better version (and don't get the Singer Pixie no matter how cute the purple color!)

Over the next week I created the 2 little elastic waist skirts (the general direction can be found at the Made blog). I adore them- the colors, the little pockets (!!), that they fit perfectly on the waist and can be worn to class, church, dinner, wherever!

These skirts are so easy to make! Just two sides, add in the pockets, sew the casing for the elastic, sew the elastic down on the side to get the skrunch and your good to go! The first took significantly longer than the second given how long it had been since my last project. But I LOVE the way they turned out.

And contrasting pockets just make me smile!

I took left over scraps from the skirt materials to make the most precious flower hair clips. They literally take 2 minutes to make and I've always loved the idea of them, just not the price. Voila- personalized hair flowers.

Which I just happened to hang on some scrap material by my desk...

And which look adorable on the mirror I got for $4 and painted up. Please do note my current nail polish obsessions featured prominently.

I also picked up this linen shift at Goodwill for $5. (Please ignore the disatrous living room/ktichen/dining room- it had been a long week of tests). It was shapeless and too big but I loved the color (of course) and I love linen in the summer so....

I took it in, chopped it off, and used the extra materal to make an adorable ruffle. Go to rufflesandstuff.com to get ideas on how to make ruffles (and stuff!) but this could not have been any easier. I just pulled and pinned the ruffle. It was even cute enough to wear the next week out to sushi!

I really truly should be studying right now but blogging about summer crafting seemed like a productive form of procrastination. There are so many other projects I can't wait to try (and hope to share) although I should probably get through finals first....