A few months ago my parents got a birdfeeder for the backyard. Of course this wasn't the labrador puppy I have tentatively named Moses but birds aren't loud and I've only ever been bitten by our neighbors cockatoo so I figured it was safe. Birds we got, sure, but we also got squirrels and lots of 'em. Apparently our backyard is training ground for the squirrel Olympics because all the ones we have are lightning fast and climbing superstars. But there was one squirrel who really became the star of the show- Niedermeyer.
We know him, we loathe him, our dog recognizes his name. Niedermeyer is of course named after one Douglas C. Niedermeyer, the "sneaky little bad word here" from the classic movie Animal House. Seeing as its my mom's favorite movie of all time, his name made perfect sense and he has lived up to it. While Niedermeyer is head squirrel in charge, there's also second banana Greg Marmalard, the one with a wonky tail. Go watch the movie and this will all make sense (and we can offically be friends). Niedermeyer is the ringleader of the whole operation demonstrating amazing feats of agility and risk all in the name of some bird seed. Naturally we fought this battle against our squirrel nemisis with a supersoaker. It worked just about as well as you would think.
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Beginning to show his skills |
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Serious agility |
Niedermeyer was undetered and becoming bolder than ever so we swung into action just like the Delta Tau Chi's to rain on Niedermeyer's parade. Apparently there is a rather lucrative business in making squirrel-proof birdfeeders that shut the feeder if there's too much weight, closing the buffet for squirrels (and obese birds). As I type Niedermeyer is staring at this new feeder, no doubt contemplating how he can outsmart us- he's a determined one that one. And while he appears to be slightly depressed I think we all know that were we to be truly rid of Niedermeyer we'd miss our sneaky little guy. So until our friend figures out how to get into this feeder do yourself a favor and make sure you watch this.
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We're waiting... |