Confessions of a Senior Beach Weekend...

Two posts in one week? Chill out folks, its only because I don't really have any homework to be doing right now. Confessions? Don't get your hopes up- this is me writing here so you know its nothing scandalous. Tomorrow is my last undergraduate Monday of class. Excuse me but when did four years fly by and where did they go? I was thinking about how quickly the past four years have happened, especially this last semester, over my last Furman Beach Weekend. Sure everyone around me was thinking about things other than this but as I was sitting on the beach last night with dear friends, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with the fact that it truly was the end of my senior year of college. Nothing is quite like sitting on a beach at night and staring into the beautiful dark blue ocean to remind that life is so much more that college and beach weekend. College is that thing in the back of your mind that you always think, "Hey, I'll finish that and be an adult! Real world here I come!" In the words of many seniors, we are so not ready for this. How on earth am I the adult when my life's goal is still to be Ariel? The end of this year if forcing me to come face to face with the fact that a big event in my life is ending and soon we will go our separate ways. I cannot help but be overcome with emotion when I think about all of the incredible memories and friends I have made over four years and how I am not quite ready to let them go. Yes I know I have to but we don't always want to let go of what we love, even if we must.

So here's the confession part: I wasn't exactly ready to let go until this weekend. I had so much fun but I realized that at sometime we have to move on and grow up even when we don't want to. Talking to old friends this weekend made me realize that there is so much out there in the world beyond the Furman bubble, incredible things and places where I don't have to take care of everyone all the time. He reminded me that people like me even when I'm not being the mom and taking care of everyone (which I always forget) and that people grow up and don't need to be taken care of all the time. I am realizing that we have to let people be themselves, grow up a little and sometimes make mistakes. Thank goodness I had people around me who let me make mistakes and find out who I am. So even those this weekend was a blast and I got to make so many more memories with people I love, I know that I will be ready to move on and start my life after Furman. Granted I will probably cry while doing this because lets face it I always cry and leaving is always so hard but I know that I am ready to start a crazy new adventure of two years (and maybe some more) in Charleston. So senior year flew by and yes sometimes I wish I could go back and relive some of those incredible memories but I have plenty of pictures (ha!). More importantly, Charleston is flying towards me fast and sometimes you just have to fly the Furman coop. So here comes the world after Furman but we still have two more weeks to take in swimming in the fountains, the beautiful landscape, running trails and incredible friends. And I intend to.

To love like a Lab...

I havent written in a while, mostly because there has been so much going on right now. I'd forgotten how crazy the end of the year can be. Last weekend was particularly rough because my parents had to put down our sweet yellow Labrador, Rocket, very suddenly. My dogs are such a big part of my life so this was of course an incredibly emotional event. This is part of my journal from last weekend and is written just as I first wrote it. Sorry for the terrible rambling sentences but lets be honest, that's how I really talk. I hope this helps you love the way Rocket loved as it has helped me.

April 17th

Today I came home from Furman because we had to put down our sweet Rocket boy. My sweet big baby, my good ole dog, the dog with biggest feet and the softest ears. My boy I held on the way the day we got him when he fell asleep in my arms. My big sweet boy who would protect us no matter what even if he was scared on the vacuum cleaner. Words cannot express how it broke my heart not to hold him and be with him when he was sick and hurting- to know I couldn't comfort the dog who was always there for me- to greet me on a not so happy morning with his happy smiling face, to with me on a swing when I needed to get a way. He was all of ours, not because he was supposed to be a family dog but because he loved all of us so loyally, so purely, so unconditionally. It is so surreal to look out into our big back yard and not see my big yellow dog basking in the sun, laying in the fresh dirt he'd just dug up or playing (sort of) with Scarley. Rocket was for so long, my childhood. He was with for all of the middle school tears and teenage angst. All the drama and boyfriends and heartache. He was always there- even just a wag of his tail or a big goofy grin- the world was always ok. When you have your dog to remind you of the simple joys of life and to just love. I think we forget to love sometimes. We say it but we don't always do it. We lose sight of the joy and happiness of life, of the simple effervescent joy we should get from those we are blessed to be surrounded with. Whenever someone asks me if dogs go to heaven I always say yes because no one can quite represent God's unconditional, constant, and abiding love the way a dog can. Rocket loved us, no matter what- even if we were in a sour mood or quick tempered- he loved and he showed me how to love people in my life- constantly, unconditionally, an encouraging smile, a neck to hug, and an ear to listen. So sweet boy if you're up there in a world where you can have all the soccer balls and milk jugs and chew toys you could ever want, while you're basking in the sun up there- know that your sweet face will never be far from my ind. You grew up with me, let me be your friend, and let me cry on your when I needed it. But mostly you taught me to love and I will remember that. May God grant me the joy for life you had and the ability to try to love as only He can and to show the love to others you showed to us.

So in short, friends, remember to love and love like a lab- unconditionally and never-ending and with a joy for life so inspiring it moves others. Go and love fiercely, like my sweet big dog.