Parking is overrated

This is an email I sent to my parents to request more money in my monthly food allowance (mostly for caffine and cereal purposes) for stupid parking tickets. I mean really stupid parking tickets. Here it is in its entirety:

Request: Additional money each month for stupid FUPO parking tickets
Amount:minumum $10
Reason: Apparently after years of never getting parking tickets, FUPO has decided that as a 2nd semester senior I should be targeted and milked for all my cash. I'm pretty sure they have a personal target on me and are so out to get me. I wish I could say that these parking tickets have merit but really they dont. Example: I got back last night from officer slating at 1 am and having dutifully (and selflessly driven my roommates and one Chelsea Garber) discovered that there were no more spaces available apart from the handicap spaces and 15 min slots. Obviously not being dumb enough to park in the handicap space (although I dont think being a varsity athlete who is completely fine should count), I parked in the 15 minute space. Fearing FUPO's rath I left a note informing them that I only parked there because there were no other spaces. Bonus: it was on a cute notepad so I was clearly not at fault. FUPO Officer 15 however disagreed and gave me an overtime ticket at 4:12 am. Yes 4:12 am. Why exactly he thought that giving precious little me a ticket so early in the morning was necessary to campus safety is beyond me. Anyway I saw it this morning, and apart from not being what you would call a morning person, it seriously soured my day. I went to the public safety office to beg, to plead not to have to pay when I am a graduating senior who seriously just wanted to park and get some sleep. I? Am so not a hazard to campus safety. In the end they weren't budging so I had to grudgingly bike over to the lady in the business office I know way too well now and cough up the cash. Therefore in addition to my monthly food allowance that pays for the neccesities like cereal, candy and diet coke, I am firmly requesting money alloted for stupid parking tickets. Please email me directly once you have you reached your decision.
Sincerely,
Little Blonde Girl