Graduation Gown Woes

I graduated from college on Saturday. Naturally I knew I was going to want an obnoxious number of pictures from this event and wanted to look my best. Unfortunately graduation caps and gowns are exactly the picture of fashion. This is what I emailed to my mom after my horrific experience trying my gown on.

Just paid the $40 rental fee for my graudation attire. Once again Furman spares no expense. Oh wait we do get to keep the $1 tassel- they are so generous! So even though its the right length (for once) , it is, to my horror, completely unflatterly. Seriously how many pictures am I going to take on this most important occasion? A lot. So let me wear what is essentially a large black bag with lovely wing like arms? Oh you shouldnt have. My one question is....can I belt it? All outfits are pretty much made better by defining a waist- Im thinking a zebra print belt? Genius! (This plan was later vetoed by the powers that may be- apparently zebra isn't serious enough). And really the cap? I am roughly the size of a 12 year old and have a tiny head so if the cap is cutting off the circulation to my brain it is TOO SMALL. Really if I cant wear it, y'all need to re-evaluate you sizing. Also, hoods should not make one look like a rather somber platypus with a burst of purple for fun and should be far easier to put on. Apparently I am smart enough to graduate but not to put on the stuff I'm supposed to wear. Seriously.