A letter to Dad

Dear Dad,

Its been quite a while since I last saw you- 19 years today in fact even though I don’t remember a lot from back then. I do know I was a very loved little girl who loved princesses, playing with her annoying big brother, baking with her momma and of course her daddy. I remember flying down the stairs when you came home at night and the way you always came to my rescue. I remember missing you a lot when I was little and you weren’t there anymore and how much I clung even more to Momma and Jonathan. I remember crying myself to sleep because I wished you were there and you weren’t- I sat in bed and hugged my Pinky Bear wishing and praying you would come find me somehow. Slowly, then suddenly I grew up. Momma got married and I had another Dad. I went to school. I fought with Jonathan probably more than I should have. I laughed and playing and still liked princesses. I used to wish you were there all the time but then I grew up and things changed. I realized you were there- when I was happy, when I was mad, when I hated school and was stressed out, when something big happened in my life and I wished more than anything I could see you. Last week I graduated from college. I wish I could say how quickly it came but I can’t. I feel like I was just a little girl playing outside and suddenly I am a (sort of) adult. Even more, I wished you were there- sitting in the stadium, watching and cheering. I longed to see your pride, to hug you and tell you I loved you, to laugh and to cry. I wanted to take pictures with you like we used to and to hold you tight. But I couldn’t- even though I have wished on many a star that I could. Still, I know you were there, watching from above where you have watched over us for so long. I know you would be so proud. Not just of me but of Jonathan and what a great young man he is and the ways we have relied on each other to get through the most difficult times. Even after all this time we are still yours and we try so hard to make you proud and show you we love you, even from all the way down here. It was hard to have so many people I loved around me last weekend but to not have you- I felt as if a part of me was so closed but still so far removed from me. I always feel that way anytime something important happens in my life- no matter how big or small I always think of you. Still I know that even though you’re not beside me, you are there- watching as you always have for the past 19 years. So today remember how much we love you, how much we miss you, and how comforting it is to know you are always with us wherever we go.

Forever your girl,

Allison Sunbeam